(no subject)

today I'm at my Mom's farm; we're going to do a Solstice bonfire (IE take care of the burn pile). I'm doing the ritual for it, which will be interesting. I've never led an entire circle before; it was something I was hoping to do to get my second degree, but things didn't work out that way with the group I was in. Now I'm mostly solitary; can I declare myself second degree? Doesn't quite seem right.

We'll also do the family Christmas exchange, at least for my family and my mom. Sister and BIL and my nephew will be here later in the week. Am I sorry not to be having the whole chaotic thing with all of us together? Not really. I don't honestly fit it very well with my family; they're into the whole country lifestyle, and I just. I'm not. I like the outdoors, and animals, but I also like theater and fandom and the arts...I'm really much more city than country, and while I understand the language I just don't speak it. Sometimes it makes me really sad, how little I think they get me while they get each other so very well. My mother is found of the whole 'family is all you have in the end' and, while I'm glad they at least accept the cuckoo in their nest, I hope she's wrong. I love my family that I've built and raised, but they're growing up and getting ready to fledge.

So. A day of mixed blessings, on which I will make the best of things and send my gratitudes and hopes out into the universe.

Blessed solstice, everyone, and merry yule!